Waking up to Abundance

Serious Andi circa 2003…

I’ve worked as a performer for nearly twenty years and one of the things I always wished for was abundance. I saw it as this joyful stream of opportunities neatly fitting together like a toddler’s jigsaw puzzle. One project would end, leading to a well-earned rest before I effortlessly sailed into the next endeavour. 

Because I didn’t experience this, I thought abundance was absent from my career which felt like this stop-starty train I had to really graft to keep moving. 

But then I did a workshop that caused me to question that. The facilitator encouraged me to track all the opportunities that were actually coming my way.  Excel dork that I am, obviously I did this with a colour-coded spreadsheet. 

For two months I diligently filled it out every day and at the end, I was shocked to find, far from being devoid of opportunity, my career was filled with abundance. For a while, I relaxed, trusting that I didn’t have to push quite so hard but eventually, as is always the way, I slipped back into my old way of thinking.  

Then this year, when the lockdown began, I went into a high-hustle mode, saying  ‘yes’ to pretty much everything that came my way, largely out of fear given the uncertainty in my industry. Soon I was doing remote voice-over recordings, began a major writing project, sat on two comedy awards panels and got my podcast, Creative Sauce, off the ground. 

But several months in I’d said ‘yes’ to so much I felt overwhelmed. Don’t get me wrong, I was massively grateful for the offers, especially as many in my field were struggling but it was all too much. Then I had a lightbulb moment. 

The abundance I was seeking was in my life and always had been, but what I realised was, it just hadn’t felt how I’d imagined it would. I finally understood that abundance doesn’t always feel good! It can feel like too much, unmanageable, confusing, irritating even. Abundance can be overwhelming, inconvenient and misaligned with your schedule. It may not even come in the form you want it to. It just comes. I saw that, rather than abundance, the experience I really wanted was flow. That was the feeling of things fitting together and there being an ease and synchronicity.

The realisation was a relief. I saw that I don’t need to be in this constant panic, trying to create abundance. I just need to put my energy into the right things at the right time and make room so that flow could occur. To have flow is essentially an act of trust. 

This is easier said than done, however. For many in the live performance and events industries, this uncertainty has created more hardship than opportunity and trust is, understandably, in short supply .So please spare a thought for all those who have fallen through the cracks of the Government’s support. 

And if you are back at work, whether as an employee or a freelancer, I hope you get to live an abundant life that flows and gives you as much joy as is humanly possible! 

As I was searching online I came across this link from the RSC they have shared their own plans on how to work in this time of COVID but also resources and possible funding opportunities that may be of help to support artists and freelancers. Let me know if it is of any use? And please share other possible resources in the comments in case they may help others.

Pre-order my debut novel, Asking For A Friend at WHSmith, Amazon, Waterstones or support your local bookshop at Bookshop UK

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