Black Lash

A few years back, in the hunt for new beauty procedures, I decided to give eyelash extensions a go. My lashes are quite fine and kind of peter out towards my inner eye so I thought, wouldn’t it be great to have TV lashes. From the moment I wake up, to loading the dishwasher, looking Hollywood-fabulous all the time.

This isn’t them!

I like false eyelashes (the ones you take off when removing your makeup) but I’m terrible at applying them – it’s like wrestling a spider.

A couple of make up artists had recommended lash extensions so I headed to Browhaus on Floral Street in Covent Garden to give it a whirl.

As I tentatively shuffled onto the chair I blurted out ‘I’ve never done this before!’ as though I’d accidentally stumbled into a sex party and decided to stay.

My technician reassured me and offered two styles, one where the lashes are longer towards the outside so the eye looks more feline and one where they’re longer in the middle for a more ‘doll-like effect’. I opted for feline. I like cats. Dolls, not so much.

We then talked about length (maybe it was a sex party). I had a choice of 8, 10 and 12 mm and also singles or clusters. Apparently, the singles appear more natural but the clusters last longer and create a fuller look. Who knew?! I went for 10mm singles. 

She then taped down my lower lashes – Clockwork Orange-style. Then I had to close my eyes and I spent the next 20 minutes convinced this was some Jackass set up and this woman was actually sticking my eyelids together.

Any excuse to post RJ…

Anyway, eventually she was done, ‘‘Open your eyes.” As I prised my eyelids open, tears streamed down my face due to the fumes from the glue. I looked like I’d just heard that Rege-Jean had quit Bridgerton.

The technician didn’t seem phased but I was panicking like an MP caught on camera at that sex party I shouldn’t have stayed at. Finally, after 10 minutes, even though my eyes were still streaming, I could at least keep them open. The technician assured me this was normal. Yeah, in your world!  

Finally, she held up the mirror. Was this going to be like at the hairdressers where they make you look like a moron but you say, ‘Great job!’ then rage down the phone to your mates after.

Buuuut, you know what? No raging needed. I was worried they’d be OTT, making me look like Ermintrude from The Magic Roundabout but they were lovely.

Anyway, after she’d upsold me some overpriced after-care products, I was done. By the time I got to work the fumes had all but evaporated and I was left with the lash loveliness I’d envisaged. Hollywood glamour, sorted.

They felt a little uncomfortable at first but I got used to them and kept them in for about three weeks. Would I recommend them? Well, here are my pros and cons (sorry I have no pics of the experience – no Insta back then so why take pics, eh?):

Pros: They look really good and natural; Less eye make up is required; They last a long time if looked after.

Cons: You have to have them taken out in the salon! You lose A LOT of lashes in the removal process and removing makeup is quite intricate as you’re now trying not to dislodge the lashes.

Bottom line, some women have a higher tolerance for the discomfort of beauty procedures but in doing this, I discovered, I ain’t one of them. Sooo, I’m happy to settle for what God gave me and instead just use decent mascara.

Sadly, Browhaus didn’t make it through the pandemic but they were great. Big love to all the small businesses who’ve lost the fight. If there’s one you love, why not give them a shout out in the comments below…

My debut novel, Asking For A Friend is out now – order from WHSmith, Amazon, Waterstones or support your local bookshop at Bookshop UK

2 thoughts on “Black Lash

  • Love this article. I was in stitches reading it.

    I had mine done locally to wear I live in Shoreditch. Individual natural ones at 10 (I think), for the 1st time in 2019.. I love them but boy they are not cheap. Mine cost me £90. Made my eyes pop (along with a good eyebrow shape).

    Love your writing. Loved “Asking for a friend” and thoroughly looking forward to your next book 🙏🏾

    • Ah thanks Oré. Glad you enjoyed. I’m gonna get my eye brows done again but I think the eyelash thing was a one off for sure hahaha

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